empty 《空》

Thinking about what 3 personal objects I will bring with me if tomorrow I lose everything else, I blank. It was the moment I realized for my whole life I thought I knew what was important for me, but the truth is nothing is able to have a big part of my heart because I am scared to get attached to anything. Growing up I was taught to always be ready to lose anyone or anything because they will not be with me forever which makes me become a person who always expects the worst. However, I never realized that this thought had been carved into my mind so deeply.

I decided to do this project to give me an opportunity to know what is meaningful for others. By knowing this, I can calm myself down and see what is actually important to me, but I choose to hide my feelings from them because of the fear of loss that is always in my heart.

當我思考「如果明天失去一切，我會帶上哪三樣屬於自己的物件？」時，我腦中一片空白。那一刻我才意識到，原來我一直以為自己清楚知道什麼對我重要，但事實是，沒有任何東西能真正佔據我心裡的位置。因為我害怕依附，害怕失去。

成長過程中，我被教導要隨時準備好面對離別——任何人或任何事物都不會永遠存在。這讓我成為一個總是預期最壞結果的人，而這種想法早已深深刻進我的腦海。

我決定做這個項目，是想藉由了解他人認為重要的事物，給自己一個機會去重新審視意義。透過他們的答案，我能稍稍安慰自己，看見什麼才是真正重要的。然而，我依然選擇將感受隱藏起來，因為那份對「失去」的恐懼，始終縈繞在我的心裡。